We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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