My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
