My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
