i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
