I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
