The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
