its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
