So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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