Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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