NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
