thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
not ubering you a puppy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize