i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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