Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
