I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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