Your mouth is God's brothel.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
