I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
