so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
