I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
