thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
