if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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