Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
