kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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