I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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