So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
