I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize