Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
