Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
