This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize