If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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