I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
