jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
