what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
