its not stalking. its research.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
