i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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