plz talk dirty to me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
