i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
