I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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