She's JV to your varsity
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize