Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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