The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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