I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
