This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
