what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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