so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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