i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize