woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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