I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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