Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
should my penis look like a turkey
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
