and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
