roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
