True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
