i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
These tits shall not be calmed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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