You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize