If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
