so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
