cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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