It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
