Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
