My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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