Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
