i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
