I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
