dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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