her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
